I started listening to podcasts for a couple of days last week, but they quickly began to burn me out! I digested a LOT of information in the few podcasts I listened to, so I decided to switch back to music and let the information sink in completely.
I’ve been letting this information sink in for a few days now – and it is only leaving me feeling as frustrated and STUCK as I did before!! I just don’t know what to do to get out of this rut I’m in. I feel like I can survive – just barely – and that’s ALL I am capable of these days. It SUCKS.
While I’m listening to the podcasts, I feel so inspired and raring to go. I listen in the car, to and from work, so there are responsibilities waiting for me on either end of the commute. Very DRAINING responsibilities. This sucks the life out of me and I can’t do ANYTHING.
I decided that I would best benefit from stepping back a bit and working on some things that I want to learn, not necessarily things that would make me money. This sounds so ideal to me…
… BUT THEN I PANIC!!!!!!!
My husband’s decision to quit corporate life and venture out on his own is weighing heavily on my mind. While we have enough money to pay the bills, that’s IT. Of course the second he gives up a steady paycheck, we start hemorrhaging money left and right. It doesn’t seem to want to stop any time soon either! Medical bills out the wazoo (that we have HSA money for), car repairs, this, that, and everything else.
Everything will work itself out eventually, but I’m just so STUCK in the meantime. It’s not fair. I have goals I want to accomplish, but my mind is currently immobilized by everything else going on.
It doesn’t help that vacation was supposed to be relaxing and mind clearing. It was everything but… and I am still absolutely REELING from the events that happened over that week. I don’t think anyone can understand how much this impacted me. It’s not good, not at all. At this point I’m wondering how I’ll ever be able to get back to something other than “able to survive”. I need to find MY purpose in life. Sadly, that’s something I lost hope over a VERY long time ago…